Words of a Life

Randomness

Randomness bulleted - you've been warned:

• The weather this weekend has been dark and cold and gloomy.  I like it.  I think it reminded me that fall is on it's way and I'm down with that.
• We went to a visitation/funeral this weekend for a dearly loved man.  He went out in style - in a parade of sorts, pulled in a wagon by a John Deere tractor and followed by 3 more of his beloved tractors.  It would have been a grand day for a parade except for the cold and thunder and lightning and pouring rain - a bit miserable for the mourners but definitely memorable.
• Got to see lots of friends for very brief moments of time this weekend.  Over the past year that we've lived here, we have realized that life went on in our old town without us.  This weekend was a bittersweet reminder that we are loved and missed. 
• Ever since the failed placement, I really have not wanted to be touched, except by Chris.  I almost feel bereft if he isn't touching me.  We are not normally cuddly when we are going to sleep but over the past month it seems like one or the other of us has a hand reaching out, touching an arm or tummy or shoulder.  It just feels better that way.
• But I haven't wanted to be touched by others.  Little kids are OK, but not adults.  The whole thing is weird really since I am a total touch person - hugs, holding hands, snuggling.  I knew I was going to get hugged, like it or not, this weekend.  I tried not to let the thought of the impending hugs freak me out.  And yes, there were lots of hugs, some were weird, most were OK, some were very, very nice.  The hugs from my dearest friends were the best - it was just nice to be there with them, and get/give a hug and not have to say much   One woman was standing beside me and just kind of pulled my head into her shoulder and held me there - very "mom"ish.  Even that was OK.  One person grabbed me and kept telling me how beautiful I was - um, that one was a little weird.  What I knew though was that everyone who hugged and attempted to hug us did so out of love and caring for us, and that made it all OK.
• I jacked up my ankle and have no idea what I did.  It's been hurting for over a week.  And yet, I chose to wear my adorable black bow heels on Friday night.  Yep, that didn't help the ankle so much, neither did running thru the cemetary and jumping over headstones in slippery sandals in the pouring rain.  Plan of action - ice and ibuprofen, and maybe a doctor visit this week.
• With 207,000 miles on our 9 year old vehicle, we are finally, finally facing the fact that we may not get another year out of our little red Ford.  We are hoping for another 9 months at least - next June or July would be perfect - but we are also trying to prepare ourselves.  I've been cruising Ebay, Craig's List, and other used car sites and trying to find the car I want.  We kind of know that we'd like to move on to minivan land and have been asking friends for their recommendations.  Some of our friends are huge Saturn lovers, and another friend drove a Saturn Relay which she highly recommended.  It is what we are leaning toward right now but who knows when our trustly little truck will head to that junkyard in the sky.  Personally, I think both of us, while we'd prefer it to not happen soon, also can't wait to get rid of the manual transmission with all the city driving we do.
• We haven't heard much from our agency lately.  They were having a family outing on Saturday which we skipped to go to the funeral.  Our social worker goes on maternity leave soon so we have another social worker who will be working with us if the need arrives - that's social worker #4.  We've been really blessed with great social workers but had no idea that over the course of 9 months, we'd be dealing with 4 of them. 
• We had some Target gift cards burning a hole in our pocket so we went and picked up this last weekend.  I put it together last night.  It is adorable and easy to put together and, honestly, I love it.  It's weird but we really haven't bought a lot for Future Little One (FLO).  Our crib was given to us, we bought the dresser used from my cousin, we've been given bouncers, changing pad, toys, clothes, diaper bags, bathtubs, walkers, etc.  Friends went together to purchase our carseat/stroller system; my in-laws bought our pack & play/play yard; other friends gave us a beautiful adoption themed baby book; shortly before Not Our Baby was due, my cousin's wife showed up with a basket full of stuff - swaddlers, bottle brush and drying rack, formula containers, bibs, blankets, washcloths, etc.  We hadn't really purchased anything major - we'd picked up some diapers and outfits, pacifiers, socks, a couple of blankets, but nothing big.  So even though this only cost us $5 out of pocket, it felt huge to be buying something for our FLO. 
• It's almost the end of the fiscal year.  This is probably going to be one of my nuttiest weeks at work. 
• I got an email from my mom asking what we wanted for our birthdays - Chris's was in April, mine was in July. I can't help but wonder if she's just trying ensure that we get her a birthday gift in December. 
• It's 10:06 pm.  Must go to bed.
• Good gracious, I am wordy in my randomness.
• This is one of my absolute favorite songs ever (You'll have to hit pause on the sidebar player) for obvious reasons.

 

 

Because Words Are Not Enough

A few years back, I was asked if I’d like a ticket to a Selah concert.  I wasn’t familiar with the group but agreed to go.  A whole group of us went – and it was amazing.  I was blown away by how incredibly real the performers were.  This was not about performing, though.  This was about praising God, glorifying His name, abiding in His presence.  To this day, despite their female lead leaving and being replaced, they are one of my favorites.  It doesn’t matter what kind of mood I’m in, I can find a Selah song to fit.  Chris and I even adopted their version of Bless the Broken Road as our song.  The song One Thing I Know has carried me thru more dark moments than any other song I know.  And I have been comforted by countless others - It Is Well With My Soul, Gentle Healer, Press On - I could go on and on. 

I was recently referred to this website.  It is the story of Audrey Caroline Smith.  Audrey is the daughter of Todd and Angie Smith – and Todd is one of the founding/current members of Selah.  To have to go thru anything like this is devastating but to have to go thru it in a more public forum because of who you are and what you do can be even tougher.  Please pray for Todd & Angie and their precious family. 

How Can We Sleep When Our Beds Are Burning?

My apologies to Midnight Oil but this is the song that's been running through my head since I heard about the fires in the San Diego area.  For updates on what's happening, along with some cool photos, go visit Cori.  She's updating fairly often and has good links to other bloggers who are continuing to post.  I have family in that area but they are further south and OK according to family in the know. 

I'll be back with a new post soon.  I have about four in the works.  Tonight, though, I'm off to an acapella concert here in our little town.  I love acapella groups but have been limiting myself to The Blenders (because they were the first acapella group I ever knew of and liked) and  Tonic Sol-fa (because I grew up with one of the guys and one of the other guys was "discovered" at a show at my college - well, and also because they are just awesome!) mainly.  Tonight a group called Four Shadow is taking the stage at the high school.  I'm looking forward to a nice evening with Chris and my boss.  Yep, my boss loves acapella too, so she'll be joining us.  Should be a fun evening.